Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
