I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
