Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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