And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
