Buhtt sex?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Someone came in the potted fern
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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