I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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