I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
