Apparently you make a good broom.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
