i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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