Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
