Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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