you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
