Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
