been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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