i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
