Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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