note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
