did you get engaged???
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
