I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
birth control should be required to get into college
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
