a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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