Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
