I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
