I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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