Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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