So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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