Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
