normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
