I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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