Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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