people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
