it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
