I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i out mim tonsoeep
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