SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
