So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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