Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
