I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
