I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
