Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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