Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I need to calm my uterus...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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