i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
