hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
