I don't think brook has ever known best
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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