wat bout pragnant strippers??
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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