remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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