1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
