You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
