I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
