I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
