If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
