what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
This house was built for laser tag.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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